The Perfect Wife
By Mary Ellen Heidgen

I know that I shall never be
The perfect wife I like to be.

A wife who's one and only thought
Is doing everything she ought;

A wife who gazes at her man
While warming up the frying pan;

A wife who loves to stitch and sew
And yearns to pummel yeasty dough;

A wife who scrubs and cleans and cleans
And still makes homemade pork and beans.

Instead I watch all sorts of games
And know the players and their names.

I super-glued to the remote
And run the VCR by rote.

I hang out with a lively bunch.
We exercise and then we lunch.

I do the manly hauling trash
And order food for every bash.

I've worked through years of tiresome strife
But just can't be a perfect wife.

Now comes the very strangest part.
I shout it out with all my heart.

I'm sure you won't believe your ears
But I've stayed married 40 years!